Paris Hilton’s prison novel, “The Opposite of a Slut,” has hit a roadblock, an inside source, close to the unjustly imprisoned hotel heiress said Sunday. The book, which has been eagerly anticipated by millions of Hilton fans since it was leaked over the Internet that Ms. Hilton had begun recording her “thoughts and impressions” while cooling her heels in the clink, apparently has not been progressing as well as its publishers had hoped.

Gabrielle H. Hickcock, a literary agent for Beaglesby Books in London, who is said to be handling the book, denied the reports of “writer’s block” circulating around the blogosphere. “It’s complete rubbish, what people have been saying,” Ms. Hickcock insisted. “Ms. Hilton is an artist, and as I think you’re all aware, artists often take time to percolate their thoughts into clear works of genius.”

While Ms. Hickcock seems willing to wait for Ms. Hilton’s genius to “percolate,” others are not so open-minded about Hilton’s failing to meet strict publishing deadlines for “Slut.” “To be quite frank, she was supposed to be getting us twenty complete “thoughts” per day of her incarceration, and so far we’ve seen almost next to nothing,” complained a Beaglesby staffer who wished not to be named for this article. “I don’t think it’ll be any time before someone wakes up and says it’s about time we bring in a ghostwriter,” she added.

Well, not really. But according to the new definition of atheism, anybody who is not a theist is now (by default) an atheist.

This includes people not aware of the meaning of the word “god”, like pre-verbal children, and Paris Hilton.

So I stayed in this weekend with my friend who needed some company as she couldn’t go out of the house cause she had this gross pimple on her nose, but her girlfriends did and brought down all the goss. Apparently our Princess Paris didn’t show up as they thought she would but there were a couple of star sightings. There was a basketball player they couldn’t recognize but apparently they were told it was Korolev of the Clippers, and a top rapper.

I dunno, as of late Paris seems to be slacking in the going out and partying department. I wonder if she’s like taking a vacation from it; I wonder if she thinks partying is like a job she has to do, I mean she does get paid to make appearances at shindigs and box socials so maybe. I wish I had that job. Life’s easy for our Princess isn’t it?

By the way, if you are reading this Paris, I’ve seen those new pics of you on the internet and I have to say I love the new bra you’re sporting in them. Just gotta do something about your ‘accessory’ there. I go well with most colors and can make you look slimmer. Plus I have an Armani tattoo on my left butt cheek so I can pass off as being high end… I’m not really good at doing an Italian accent though. I always end up sounding like Tony Montana with a cold, and he’s Cuban.

If Paris Hilton were just regular girl (not that she really does anything extraordinary or in the least bit special… unless you count trashing super-cars on a regular basis a superpower, although it is hot) just like my neighbour or the girl who packs your groceries at the supermarket would I still be obsessed with her? Would I still love her more than my other Paris, my bike for whom I spare no expense buying only original Kawasaki Ninja parts? Wait… I actually love my bike more than famous Paris so that was a stupid question. Of course I would love my bike more if our Princess was just the girl who comes to shush you in the movie theatre.

The question is though: just how much would my love for Paris Hilton actually decrease if she were just like Jane? Would I even think she’s pretty? I actually don’t exactly know what she really looks like. I mean ‘really really’, like without the army of stylists and beauticians that follow her constantly, looking after every single stray strand of hair. I’m sure she’d still be hot… well… maybe… would she? Oh man, this post is turning really depressing.

I had the most amazing holiday recently. I like to call it my World of Holiday. I bought myself an around the world plane ticket and left my home country of Australia bound for New Zealand. What an amazing place this was. Full of beautiful scenery and fresh air and let’s not forget all the sheep. My next destination was the United States. I arrived in Los Angeles only to be greeted by loads of young Paris Hilton fans holding posters and banners of the young heiress. Apparently Paris had just been in New Zealand promoting her new self titled album ‘Paris’ and was onboard my flight. First class of course! I decided to join to mass of people in a hope of getting a peek of the beautiful starlet. Sure enough after about 30 minutes the goddess appeared. She is even more beautiful in the flesh than on TV!

After my short stay in LA, I left for Europe. I visited many countries such as France, Italy, Greece, Germany and Belgium. My final destination before I headed back home was England. Such a great place and speaking of Paris Hilton, her new Club Paris had just opened in London. I decided to check it out and after a few too many pints of Guinness I started telling random strangers how I’d seen Paris only a few weeks prior at LAX. I think most of the people I told thought I was full of shit, but I know what I saw and will always remember this awesome holiday.

I wonder if Paris Hilton ever reads these websites that fans have setup in honor of them. If you do Paris – I would like to offer you an all inclusive holidays to Kos. Recently, I purchase a tour package to go to Kos with my girlfriend. Unfortunately we recently broke up and now I don’t have anyone to go with. Soooo, Paris if you are reading this then please post a comment with your contact details and I will get in touch with you.

Naturally, as I would be paying for the cost of this trip, I would expect some favors in return. Maybe a home movie or some body to body oil rubs. We would be staying in the Hilton Hotel, so you needn’t worry about safety. I am a 29 year old male, disease free and very clean. We could enjoy water sports in the day like surfing or even some scuba diving. Then at night we could enjoy candle lit dinners on the sand as we watch the sun go down.

After dinner we could make our way back to the hotel and there I would pop a bottle of Cristal. Next we would take a nice spa bath with bubbles and rose petals followed by a body to body oil slide. Sooner or later I’d have to dress you up in some sexy lingerie. Finally, I could setup a video camera and we could film ourselves while we made love into the early hours of the morning. So, Paris – get online and hit me back so I can organize this trip

For any of you out there who are true fans of Paris Hilton, you will know she has recently opened up a string of nightclubs known as Club Paris. On one of my recent trips to the Gold Coast in Queensland, I was shocked to learn that new i.d. checks were required. Similar to asset tags found on food items, electronic goods and even live stock, patrons are required to purchase an asset tag which you strap around your wrist and use throughout the club to indicate you are of legal drinking age.

Whilst this may seem like an easier way of proving your age, to me it felt like an invasion of my privacy. When entering the club you produce your identification card, your picture is taken and your information entered into a computer. This information is all saved on the security arm band that you are then given. This means in the future you can use the same asset tag to enter the club and also gives you priority entrance to some of the bigger events held at the club. My concern again is that the club owners will use the customer’s information to send out unwanted advertising material or even still use their address details which could lead to even further unwanted intrusions of privacy.

I can only hope that the Management team at Club Paris will use the information obtained by its patrons for purely the purpose of checking the age of its customers. In this new age of technology I’m all for ways to making things more efficient as long as the technology is never abused.

Recently a triumph motorcycle dealer in downtown LA stated that he received an anonymous order for a custom built pink Triumph Daytona 675. Having received orders before from other Triumph enthusiasts, this order seemed very out of the norm. Rumors had been circulating that the bike could in fact be for pop princess Pink who recently married her motor cross boyfriend Carey Hart. However, when the rightful owner finally came to pick-up the bike, it was none other than Paris Hilton.

Paris is believed to have gained her motorcycle license only two months ago, but has already developed a love of motorbikes. It appears that this bike will be featured in Paris’ new music video clip that will see her dashing past various paparazzi in an attempt to reach her destination of Club Paris.

After the filming of her new video has been completed, a rep for Paris stated that the bike will be auctioned on eBay and all proceeds being given to the pink ribbon charity that supports women with breast cancer. This has long been a charity that Paris has supported since the death of a family member a few years ago to this dreadful disease.

Hey guys. I was recently on a Greek Island holidays tour when I saw Paris Hilton bathing topless on the island of Mykonos. God what a beautiful sight! Can you imagine how I felt when I came in from the beautiful turquoise waters only to be greeted by Paris slowly removing her pink bikini top meters away from my towel?

My first instinct was to run up to her and declare my love. However on further inspection it was clear that the two buff men sitting behind her were in fact her personal body guards. I decided I would sneak a picture using my mobile phone. After careful positioning under my towel, I managed to get off a few happy snaps only to discover later that the images were unrecognizable.

It seems that every time I encounter a celebrity sighting I never have my real camera with me or the nerves to approach them with a piece of paper and pen. I guess if I was a celebrity, then I too wouldn’t want to be approached by some stranger asking for my autograph, especially if I was topless. Well at least I will always keep this memory with me even though none of my friends believe me.

With all this great new technology being created day after day, wouldn’t it be fantastic if one could incorporate the use of telepresence and the image of Paris Hilton at the same time. Telepresence uses a new form of technology that actual allows a person to feel as though they are present at a location and in turn give the appearance that they are in fact at a location other than their true location.

This would certainly be useful on those cold and rainy days when one is alone and in the need of the company of a woman. Paris could be displayed on your ceiling or wall in life like size and offer tips on fashion, celebrity gossip or even a re-enactment of her famous home movie ‘One Night in Paris’. One would only hope that in the future other such celebrities may offer their image for telepresence purposes such as Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson and Nicole Richie.

Telepresence can be likened to a 3D version of IMAX. It has been known to cause motion sickness and feeling of anxiety. However, the sweet voice of Paris Hilton will be sure to wash away any motion sickness that one might feel.