In an effort to take the heat away from the Americans and its allies in Iraq, the U.S Government has announced yesterday that they will be employing the services of Paris Hilton to be the new Ambassador to the Middle East. Paris has begun undertaking Arabic Lessons in an effort to prepare for her new role. Paris is said to be ecstatic with the news and can’t wait to don a mini skirt and discuss the deep issues with the leaders of the Middle East.

First on the agenda for Paris will be the topic of fashion. Paris wants to discuss abolishing the niqab, burq and the hijab and making it mandatory for all Middle Eastern women to wear mini skirts and sport Louis Vuitton handbags equipped with pooper scooper. Paris is said to be preparing for a real shake up of the fashion industry in the Middle East even designing a new range of men’s thongs. Paris is believed to have said, ‘although Arab men are extremely hairy, a good thong in the summer is a must have item’.

After Paris is done on the fashion front her next phase will be to discuss the introduction of alcohol to the Middle East. This appears to be purely an effort to attract more patrons to her highly successful Club Paris is Baghdad. One hopes that over the next few months, leaders in the Middle East will come to see that the West just wants to have fun!