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Archive for December, 2007

Paris Hilton’s Prison Novel Delayed

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

Paris Hilton’s prison novel, “The Opposite of a Slut,” has hit a roadblock, an inside source, close to the unjustly imprisoned hotel heiress said Sunday. The book, which has been eagerly anticipated by millions of Hilton fans since it was leaked over the Internet that Ms. Hilton had begun recording her “thoughts and impressions” while cooling her heels in the clink, apparently has not been progressing as well as its publishers had hoped.

Gabrielle H. Hickcock, a literary agent for Beaglesby Books in London, who is said to be handling the book, denied the reports of “writer’s block” circulating around the blogosphere. “It’s complete rubbish, what people have been saying,” Ms. Hickcock insisted. “Ms. Hilton is an artist, and as I think you’re all aware, artists often take time to percolate their thoughts into clear works of genius.”

While Ms. Hickcock seems willing to wait for Ms. Hilton’s genius to “percolate,” others are not so open-minded about Hilton’s failing to meet strict publishing deadlines for “Slut.” “To be quite frank, she was supposed to be getting us twenty complete “thoughts” per day of her incarceration, and so far we’ve seen almost next to nothing,” complained a Beaglesby staffer who wished not to be named for this article. “I don’t think it’ll be any time before someone wakes up and says it’s about time we bring in a ghostwriter,” she added.